Scenes from the 2016 United States Grand Prix at COTA

2016 USGP IntroKevin Magnussen’s crew preps his machine for battle under the Texas sun. The Dane would go on to finish 11th.Räikkönen's Ferrari crapped out just up the hill from pit lane. The problem? His pit crew left the gun on the wheel as he departed. He rolled back down the hill backward and ditched the car near the Haas pit. Here, his crew trundled the stricken car back to the garage on a post-race walk of shame.Cultural appropriation by a pedicab driver. Would Hong Kong film star Sammo Hung be displeased?Felipe Massa had a rather ungentlemanly bump with Fernando Alonso in his McLaren, who muscled his way past Massa's Williams late in the race. Massa pitted for a punctured tire, while Alonso went on to finish fifth.Lewis Hamilton demands that you consume.Bernd Mayländer has been driving the F1 safety car for more than 15 years. Here, he sits at the ready in his AMG GT S, waiting at the end of pit lane for a call to action.If only your medical emergencies could be tended to by a hot-rod E-class wagon.After a collision with Valtteri Bottas on the first lap, Force India’s Nico Hülkenberg rolled into the pits. After a quick huddle around the car by the pit crew, ze Hülk’s VJM09 was wheeled into the garage to sit out the rest of the race.Despite record attendance at Circuit of the Americas, we're happy to report that Heineken’s crappy DJ booth was sparsely populated.Sebastian Vettel, pilot of the lone finishing Ferrari, placed fourth.Come to Austin, go to the Grand Prix, get your body painted, find yourself singing Duran Duran’s “Planet Earth” for the next three days.Scroll Button, scroll Button 1-2, 1-2, why don’t you swing by the pits, so I can scroll with you! Jenson Button finished ninth.A quick shoot with Vettel revealed that he’s basically the Flat Stanley of F1.Renault’s Jolyon Palmer on his way out of pit lane. Palmer finished 13th, down two from his teammate, Kevin Magnussen.After his second-place finish, points leader Nico Rosberg donned a long blond wig and announced his intent to form a Velvet Underground tribute act featuring Demi Lovato on drums.We were really hoping to find a bunch of NORML-ites taking massive bong rips outside this building. Instead, the scene was regrettably calm.Tattooed Lew set a new track record in qualifying, took the pole, and won the race. It was Lewis Hamilton's world this weekend. The rest of us just lived in it.Just to make sure the USGP wasn’t mistaken for a European event, or even an American event, the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders showed up. Texas, blood, Texas.Mr. Lauda goes for a stroll.The marshals form a posse.Daniel Ricciardo’s pit crew gets in some pre-race practice. In this case, it paid off, as the Red Bull driver finished third.Sauber dudes flex some muscle.The best part of the Renault steering wheel? Unquestionably the “BO” button. No, it’s not a midrace destankifier. In this case, it stands for “burnout.” Now you’re wishing your wheel featured a BO button.

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